The Grieving Process With Rabbi Funeral

By Laura Long


It is inevitable that a person life will end at some point. A Rabbi funeral is called for to officiate the ceremony and lay the dead to rest. There are customs that must be adhered to and laws that must be abided by at times such as these.

There are laws in Judaism that are adhered to in order to make the grieving process that more meaningful. For instance, there is a seven day period called Shiva which are the first days directly after a burial has taken place. Some traditions require the mourners to sit down on a low couch or chair whilst guests and attendees come and pay their respects.

This prayer is said during the morning, afternoon and evening services in Synagogue with decorum of ten men present. It may not be said unless this prerequisite is complete in that ten men over the age of Barmitzvah are in attendance. Immediately after the burial has taken place, there is a period known as Shiva in which the family of the deceased accepts guests into their home to offer condolences and support.

Then there is the burial itself where there is a set procedure as to how it is carried out. The dead are not buried in fancy and expensive coffins but rather in a pine casket that is modest. Before the burial takes place the body is washed in what is known as Tahara or cleansing after which it is laid to rest in the coffin sometimes wrapped in a prayer shawl especially for men.

It is also customary to cover hanging mirrors and paintings in the home in order to make it known that the house is in a state of mourning. The burial itself is not a lengthy process and usually all in all lasts about three quarters of an hour. Family and friends escort the coffin to the grave site upon which prayers are said out of the book of Tehillim whilst the Rabbi eulogizes.

With the body ready for burial it is time for the ceremony to proceed. The coffin is rolled to the grave site and this is when, close family and friends can help to act as pallbearers. This is a great honour and it is a time for those who do so to reflect on the life they had with the deceased.

Once at the grave site the body is lowered and prayers continue to be said. One such prayer, at the conclusion of the ceremony, is called Kaddish and is a prayer that will be said in Synagogue for the next eleven months during morning, afternoon and evening prayers. It helps to grieve during this period and not to block those emotions that need to be expressed as if not allowed, one can suffer longer than one should and this is not in keeping with this Religion.

The Rabbi is there to enlighten and educate. It is best to be guided by him. Fulfilling the laws and dictates is in fact the healthy way to go about things.




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