Many men feel anxious about approaching women, especially if they get regularly rejected. This shouldn't be taken as a sign that they are undesirable as people and it shouldn't knock down their self-esteem. Actually it's usually just a communication problem and a bad understanding of relationship psychology.
Here the thing; most people (mostly men) are under the impression that looks are what draws a woman in. WRONG! Actually, it's charisma, charm, openness and being friendly and (slightly) emotionally available. Sitting in a sports bar swilling beer and yelling like a lunatic at the big screen is not gonna get you the girl, or ANY girl for that matter. So take a shower and shave the stubble, spray some cologne, and make some decent effort.
Have you ever wondered why women look at you as if you are a leper when you come on too strong? It's because you are "going in for the kill" before you have even gotten past the stage that comes BEFORE first base. You haven't even gotten her number yet and you are trying to seduce her. No way, bro. It'll never work. Look, just face it and accept that looks are secondary. In fact, for some women looks mean nothing. Yup. Nothing. If a guy is genuinely sweet and charming, considerate and gentlemanly, dude, you win. You could look like Quasimodo for she cares, as long as she feels like a queen when she's with you. Women want to be swept off their feet, not dragged by the hair into seduction.
Okay then. Now that we got that out of the way, let's move on to what you should be doing. First you need to get her attention from across a room. This is not where you pretend you are James Bond and be a suave jerk (because frankly, that's what JB is), because women don't find this attractive at all. No, this is where you use subtleties like body language. This is where you start to behave like a real man, and not the scared little boy you really are (at that moment anyway). Be the alpha male, and she will take notice.
Move around the room and keep up a light chatter with some of the people around you while now and again, looking in her direction. Make eye contact a few times and slowly (not TOO slowly) make your way across to her. Never keep a lady waiting. By now she is more than a little interested in you and is probably wondering who you are (if she hasn't already made a few discreet inquiries already). You may not have her eager to leave the party with you immediately, but you certainly have her attention, which is the entire aim of the game in this case. If you got this far, then well done.
When you finally approach her, don't stand straight in front of her or you will appear needy. The best thing is to get physically close to her whilst you are with other friends and then just throw a comment over to her about something that's going on. If she starts a conversation with you then that is a good sign. If the place is loud don't lean in to hear what she says, turn your head so your ear is facing her and then squint a little as if you are trying to hear.
If she leans in to repeat what she has said you are in luck because the more she leans in the more she will feel attracted to you. This is because her body is behaving as if she was attracted and her mind will follow. On the contrary, if you are leaning in you will be displaying insecurity and submission, two things to avoid.
Touch her arm now and again while talking to her when making a point. This will definitely heighten her senses to a level that will make her more receptive to you. No stroking of the skin though. That's just creepy. Even from another guy's standards. Keep it casual and you will, after a few minutes, have her shivering with pleasure at your touch, but "take no notice" of her reactions. Be ever the gentleman, and her emotional high will be to your benefit.
Now is the fun part. Start thinking about things that arouse you. Don't go completely "porn king" now, you don't want any embarrassing situations to...arise. Just enough so that she will be able to feel the subtle change in you, hear it in your voice and be affected by the timber of your voice. She will more than likely be doing the same thing. She will probably be dying for you to kiss her...at the very least, but that is for later, much later, when you have worked your "emotional magic" on her for a couple more hours.
And that is when things can really pick up the pace. You just may be surprised by the outcome. So play it cool and she will play straight into your hands...lap, whichever.
Here the thing; most people (mostly men) are under the impression that looks are what draws a woman in. WRONG! Actually, it's charisma, charm, openness and being friendly and (slightly) emotionally available. Sitting in a sports bar swilling beer and yelling like a lunatic at the big screen is not gonna get you the girl, or ANY girl for that matter. So take a shower and shave the stubble, spray some cologne, and make some decent effort.
Have you ever wondered why women look at you as if you are a leper when you come on too strong? It's because you are "going in for the kill" before you have even gotten past the stage that comes BEFORE first base. You haven't even gotten her number yet and you are trying to seduce her. No way, bro. It'll never work. Look, just face it and accept that looks are secondary. In fact, for some women looks mean nothing. Yup. Nothing. If a guy is genuinely sweet and charming, considerate and gentlemanly, dude, you win. You could look like Quasimodo for she cares, as long as she feels like a queen when she's with you. Women want to be swept off their feet, not dragged by the hair into seduction.
Okay then. Now that we got that out of the way, let's move on to what you should be doing. First you need to get her attention from across a room. This is not where you pretend you are James Bond and be a suave jerk (because frankly, that's what JB is), because women don't find this attractive at all. No, this is where you use subtleties like body language. This is where you start to behave like a real man, and not the scared little boy you really are (at that moment anyway). Be the alpha male, and she will take notice.
Move around the room and keep up a light chatter with some of the people around you while now and again, looking in her direction. Make eye contact a few times and slowly (not TOO slowly) make your way across to her. Never keep a lady waiting. By now she is more than a little interested in you and is probably wondering who you are (if she hasn't already made a few discreet inquiries already). You may not have her eager to leave the party with you immediately, but you certainly have her attention, which is the entire aim of the game in this case. If you got this far, then well done.
When you finally approach her, don't stand straight in front of her or you will appear needy. The best thing is to get physically close to her whilst you are with other friends and then just throw a comment over to her about something that's going on. If she starts a conversation with you then that is a good sign. If the place is loud don't lean in to hear what she says, turn your head so your ear is facing her and then squint a little as if you are trying to hear.
If she leans in to repeat what she has said you are in luck because the more she leans in the more she will feel attracted to you. This is because her body is behaving as if she was attracted and her mind will follow. On the contrary, if you are leaning in you will be displaying insecurity and submission, two things to avoid.
Touch her arm now and again while talking to her when making a point. This will definitely heighten her senses to a level that will make her more receptive to you. No stroking of the skin though. That's just creepy. Even from another guy's standards. Keep it casual and you will, after a few minutes, have her shivering with pleasure at your touch, but "take no notice" of her reactions. Be ever the gentleman, and her emotional high will be to your benefit.
Now is the fun part. Start thinking about things that arouse you. Don't go completely "porn king" now, you don't want any embarrassing situations to...arise. Just enough so that she will be able to feel the subtle change in you, hear it in your voice and be affected by the timber of your voice. She will more than likely be doing the same thing. She will probably be dying for you to kiss her...at the very least, but that is for later, much later, when you have worked your "emotional magic" on her for a couple more hours.
And that is when things can really pick up the pace. You just may be surprised by the outcome. So play it cool and she will play straight into your hands...lap, whichever.
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