That Very Special Chinese Girl

By Meng Li


Within my experiences traveling and living abroad in China, I have met many young western guys who think they can have any Chinese girl they want, simply because they are foreign. This is a common misperception among western guys; plenty of young dudes think that their skin color or perhaps the fact they speak English causes them to be an invaluable commodity in China.

Well, similar to in the usa, there are easy girls and then there are the actual girls that you'd wish to date or perhaps marry, but what is vital is that you realize that Chinese women are not like western women.

There are 2 components that will be fundamental to your success with that Chinese girl you've had your eye on: the initial impression and constructing a relationship. Everyone knows that first impressions help a lot, but with Chinese girls it can be everything. There is a saying in Chinese, "????xian?r?wi?zhu", meaning that first impressions are the strongest or most significant moment toward influencing someone. The way you dress, the way you carry yourself, and particularly what you say to her will determine whether she wants to carry on talking to you or see you again.

When you know you would like to continue seeing this Chinese girl and you also want to make her your girlfriend, you need to keep taking her out to build a relationship. Now these may appear to be dates, and in all fairness they are, but to the girl you are just constructing a relationship and nothing sexual will come out of it. Don't even expect to try getting a kiss until some dates or a few weeks into the relationship. Until she says and thinks you are officially together, forcing anything sexual could destroy the relationship. Accompany her on the weekends to the mall or the movies, like a regular date, and be courteous. Your Chinese girl will remember how kind you were to her.

The first few weeks with your Chinese girl are likely to seem tiring! You can never let your guard down and always be at your 100%. The first impression will get her to see you again and then you must build the cornerstone for a relationship. My best advice is to simply never let yourself make a mistake. Never do or say anything you have to contemplate the results of. Should you be careful and take the first stages seriously, then you won't have to worry about your Chinese girl in the long-run.




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